Our mind is the most powerful self-improvement tool at our disposal. But we rarely see it that way. We are constantly looking outside us to effect a change in us. It will never happen.
The really good books and courses on personal development teach you to be aware of your innermost fears and beliefs, and helps you use your mind to tackle all the issues that are dragging you down. The techniques may vary from one teacher to the next but success depends entirely on your motivation. Many successful courses teach behavioural analysis, visualization and affirmations, and meditation.
Here are a few tips on how to allow your mind to work its way out of your personal fears and challenges. But, before you proceed with these steps, remember that you have to be honest about the positive and negative aspects of your character and be willing to change your sub-consciousness. Honesty is the first step to real self-awareness.
Then follows goal-setting, a deep-seated desire to achieve your goals, and a determination to pursue those goals. For all this you need to be willing to put in time and sincere effort. You must be prepared to face a certain amount of resistance, opposition, and even ridicule from friends and family when you set out to change yourself.
Many of us find it difficult to disappoint others. We all want to be known as being very nice and helpful. You have to remember that it is not always possible to say 'Yes' to everything. When we take on too much, several things can happen. We may do it in a rushed manner and botch things up. We may feel that we are being taken for granted. We may not be able to do it all as there is just no time. All these will only be detrimental to our emotional well being in the long run.
Also, you might have noticed that those whom you have helped don't always remain your friends as by helping out all the time, you have robbed them of their ability to be self-reliant. This, in turn, fosters a feeling of ill will towards you as they are forced to be grateful to you.
If you bluntly start saying 'No' when all these years you've been the willing doormat, it will not be received well. Instead, listen to the request for help, honestly evaluate the task and decide on whether you have the time and energy to carry it out. If you don't, you must politely decline but don't go into long-winded explanations or apologies.
Are you a person who feels that you get angry for everything? Or are you the type of person who stays calm for days together and then suddenly blows? Or are you the kind of person who keeps it all in and never lets it show? Anger as an emotion is good if it is managed well. If we don't get angry, there is something wrong with us. You should get angry when people behave badly or treat you unfairly. You should get angry at yourself if you don't behave well. You need to convert your 'blind anger' into 'constructive anger'. There are several ways in which you can achieve this: through meditation, behavioural changes, exercise, and nutritious food.
Meditation need not be a yogic experience. You could easily sit at your desk and just before you start work, rest your hands on your knees and take deep cleansing breaths. Feel like you are breathing in calm and peaceful thoughts and breathing out all pent-up negativity. A few moments just spent concentrated on your breathing can calm you down tremendously.
Observing other people's reactions to different situations and comparing them with your own can also help you make changes in your behaviour patterns. If you feel that the other person is reacting badly, you visualize yourself as reacting in the opposite way to the same situation. Again, if you find yourself reacting badly, take a deep breath, and visualize yourself as reacting differently. You will soon find it becomes a habit to visualize positive behaviour and you will notice imperceptible but definite changes in who you are.
A few minutes of exercise and well-balanced nutritious meals at regular intervals can also change the way you feel about yourself and affect your reactions to situations.
When you improve your inner self, you grow as a person and you will notice a definite improvement in the quality of your life.
Luchito Ruiz, in his profession as a massage therapist, gets to hear the personal stories of his clients and he found that most people tend to blame everything bad that's happening in their life on their circumstances and on other people. Being a fairly positive minded person, he decided to write this article on personal development, to help people identify their personal fears and change the way they think and react. For more information on this topic, please visit Personal Development Seattle [http://www.personaldevelopmentseattle.com/] and Self Help Seattle [http://www.selfhelpseattle.com/].
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